“Wherever she was, THERE was Eden.”

I love to read.  Something that my parents instilled in me from the time I was young, and boy am I thankful for that.  I remember the first book I “learned” to read which was really just the story about a mom and baby bear who go to the beach and make sand cakes, but the only reason I could read it is because I memorized it (from my very wonderful, patient mother reading it to me over and over again!).

Well one of the blessings of marrying someone smarter than you are is all of the great literature that they can introduce to you.  I have not read much of mark twain, but Meagan loves his writing and is always trying to get me to take a look.  So, I decided to try out some of his short works and see if Samuel Langhorne Clemens lived up to the hype.  Twain was quite prolific and so there is not only a multitude of stories to choose from, but from Meagan’s point of view, there is a multitude of GREAT stories to dive into.

As a self proclaimed theologian I not so astonishingly chose the Diary of Adam and Eve.  I have to put in a little warning here, this story is great but I have not been affected by a piece of literature like this in some time.  Twain wrote this story in two parts.  He wrote the first half (Adam’s diary) while in his fifties and watching his beloved wife get sick and become frail.  The second half (Eve’s Diary) was written fifteen years later when Twain had hit his seventies, his  wife of 34 years had died, and he had outlived three of his four children.  This backing gives way to the melancholy tones of romance and love while also providing a nostalgic look at when the first boy met the first girl.

Twain writes the story in first person from the private journals of these two rather famous personas.  Adam, the inquisitve male can not figure out what in the world this new creature is and why it seems so fixated on following him, talking to him so much, and taking his job of naming things (without any sort of scientific experiment, much to his chagrin).  Eve, the loquacious counter part assumes that this creature (a he, she is sure of it) is not as bright as she, so she helps him out by naming everything for him and trying to show him the beauty in everything.

There is much more to the story, like Adam’s experiments on the creature that appears with Eve after he has been gone many months (he thinks it is a fish, but when he throws it in the lake Eve dives in to SAVE it!), but the underlying message shows how well crafted Twain’s stories are.  He literally develops these two characters brilliantly and then writes them to one another from the opposite ends of the spectrum.

I won’t ruin the whole story, but I finished the book the other night in bed, while Meagan slept beside me quietly.  Adam, in the last line of the book, is standing at Eve’s grave (knowing the back story here makes it that much more powerful) and he says, “Wherever she was, THERE was Eden.”  In that moment I looked over at my beautiful wife that I have been blessed with and I realized that she too would always be my Eden.

I realized in a rush of just those six words that Twain had said everything I would ever want to say about my wife.  Her perfection, beauty, understanding, kindness, gentleness, creativity, intellect, humor, even her intimacy is Eden.  It is the place in which I take refuge and find in it a relationship that knows true uncondintional love and one in which if I ever messed it up I would give ANYTHING to reconcile and bring that relationship back into righteous standing.

Mark Twain has captured me.  Not with his brash romance or his witty writing style, but by pinning me to the mat linguistically.  He has raised the standard to which I want to compare the works in which I write.  In six words he gave me a clearer picture of my love for my wife than I had ever had.  Now I am challneged to write that way, or at least think that way.

Call it what you will – sappy, syrupy, lovey dovey, weird – i don’t care, Mark Twain is fantastic and I look forward to many more years of reading him.

And many more years in Eden with my Eve.

current itunes track: Funny The Way It Is, DMB, Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King

currently watching: The beginning of summer movie season!  O Yeah, Star Trek last weekend and Terminator next!  YES!

currently reading:  Short Stories by Mark Twain and Short Stories by Flannery O’Connor (another southern American writer, but I love her for different reasons!)

Winter has turned straight into summer as the weather hit 90 degrees in OKC today.

It is so nice to be outside.  I had some errands to run and had fun riding with the windows down.

Here’s a thought for the day and we can just run with that.  There are people who spend their entire lives trying to fight the spread of Christianity and the idea that there is a God.  So why, when our church asks us to come two days out of the week, and to volunteer on some weekends do we find so many excuses to get out of it?

When did just attending church become an option?  When did “o we think we do enough” become an acceptable answer when asked to volunteer a little more time.

Seriously I don’t understand how the entire foundation of our life can take a back seat to things that are temporary?

We have to check our priorities.  Rather than let your faith just exist in the foreground of life depending on when you have time for it ( so that your life determines your faith) why can’t we change out our faith as the background setting to everything we do (so that your faith determines your life).

What do you think?

peace to you

current itunes track: Recycling, Jim Gaffigan, King Bacon

currently wathcing:  The Terminator Trilogy, I am so excited for the new one

currently reading: Pagan Christianity, Frank Viola and George Barna

currently waiting for: tomorrow so i can see my family!  o yeah!

Nothing I can do will change the structure of the universe.  But maybe, by raising my voice I can help the greatest of all causes – goodwill among men and peace on earth. ~Albert Einstein

I want to have a voice.

Not just any voice.  I mean I would love to have the Morgan Freeman, narrator voice, or the James Earl Jones, Voice of God, or even the Frank Caliendo, voice imitating ability.  Or maybe even like Susan Boyle, a voice that doesn’t match my physical looks.  Something that captures a crowd and stops instantly any judgment or preconceived notions.

Maybe I want a voice like Obama’s.  Smooth, deep (but not barry white deep), comforting, something you can “believe” in.  or more of a Kevin Costner, everyman sound.  Certainly not a Fran Drescher voice or Steve Buscemi sound.  Maybe even a voice like John Ratzenberger (the iconic voice of Clif Claven from cheers…and in all of the Pixar movies!).

But no those voices aren’t what I am looking for.  I am looking for a voice that people will hear and respond.  A voice that doesn’t even have a tone that people necessarily agree with, but that they want to hear what is being said.  A voice that is “crying out in the desert”  longing to be heard.  A voice that brings goosebumps to those who hear, but calms the heart, and challenges the mind.  can that paradox exist?

But I don’t want this voice for my own fame.  I don’t want to have my name plastered on the side of an arena like a certain pastor in Houston.  I don’t want to have billboards begging people to follow me on twitter.  I don’t need to have a tv program where I ask people to send money so I can stay on the air, and I certainly don’t want a radio station that is always running pledge drive.

But I do want a voice that is gentle and respectful and can call people to look at the kingdom.  To look at the kingdom and see it not as some place where misguided people stone one another with words or a place where money is everything.  But to see the kingdom for what it is, a way of communal living that puts us in harmonius relationships with one another and restores the good relationship that God created in the garden and we so quickly screwed up.

I want a voice that is love, speaks love, and only proclaims love.  I want a voice that will fight violence without violence.  I want a voice that will comfort without taking away form someone else.  I want a voice that will be heard without being idolized.  I want to make a difference.

Maybe I just need people to listen.

But then again maybe I should just shut up.

peace to you

Leo Goes Grr… article submitted to Artbeat Magazine in OKC!

Shout out to Blair Waltman for the great job.  Thanks so much!

It’s hard being the new band. You play an insane amount of shows for small crowds and smaller money, while still trying to find time to write new music, look for more shows, squeeze in band practice, and did we mention this is all probably on top of a regular day job? Starting is not an easy gig. But Leo Goes Grr… is off to a promising start. Mixing folksy flow with the harder rock riffs and playing their first major show Saturday night at the Sweet Surrender Benefit Concert at Oklahoma City’s Conservatory, the group looks like it might survive it’s own opening act.
Manned by Anthony DiFabio, Will Chesher, and Jeff Smith, Leo Goes Grr…has only graced existence since last November, although they’re not complete strangers.
“We’ve been in different bands in the last four years together, through college,” Smith said, motioning to himself and DiFabio.
“Will, he’s kind of come on in November,” added DiFabio. “He was kind of the spur for the change. It’s been very good, very uplifting.”
Also uplifting? The influences for this trio. Drawing from musical forces like Damien Rice, This Will Destroy You, and scores of instrumental tunes, Leo Goes Grr…presents a fun, moving sound that touches on different aspects of life.
“Some of the songs are about girls, some are about our family, some are about different shows on TV,” DiFabio explained, and he’s not kidding. Their song “Reno” is actually based on the now-defunct series “Arrested Development,” hitting on what they so aptly call the Michael-Marta complex. All this is balanced on steady drum beats, charged riffs, and DiFabio’s subversively bittersweet voice. “He’ll write the first part of the lyrics,” Smith explained, talking about DiFabio, the band’s resident lyricist. “Then we’ll just sit around on the floor together, talk and laugh until we figure out ‘Oh, that’s actually really good.’ Then go from there.”
‘Going from there’ has already amassed itself in the form of an EP titled “OK Joe DiMaggio,” six tracks of music recorded sans studio at live shows, done in the heart of indie style: low budget and self-produced.
So what big goals lay ahead of this fledging band?
“I don’t know if building a name has even been an issue,” said DiFabio. “It’s just friends getting together and playing music.”
If nothing else, you have to respect this band for having the purest form of musical passion. It’s not about the cash flow; they play because they love it.
Smith stated, “I’m never more at peace than when I’m just playing with people…there’s no stress to it, it’s just fun.”
With a musical mindset and a rock-meets-folk sound, this fresh group straight from the inner workings of OKC has potential to become something great. Fans of good new music, keep your ears open for Leo Goes Grr…

“If you can’t feed one hundred, feed one.”
~Mother Teresa

Sometimes I can’t figure out why people have a heart for ministry.  It becomes so overwhelming.  Like that storybook If you give a Mouse a Cookie.  Not that people who need compassion and justice are mice, but rather when you see the help they require you realize the long list of things that should follow that initial contact!

Over the last two years I have continually felt this darkness gnaw at me and my inner thoughts that I am not doing enough, or even why would you continue on when it looks like you are just reaching the same people.

Those thoughts bounce around in their every now and then and just when it seems that the darkness would take me over there is a spark from someone close.  Normally it is my beautiful and perfect wife, who has supported me through thick and thin! But this week (when I was having a definite pity party…i am such a little girl) I learned a new song and came across a quote by mother teresa that rocked me out of my pity mode and into action mode!

I realized that Meagan has been right this whole time.  I am working on a specific, important piece of the kingdom everyday.  I have been taking the opportunities to do ministry with people I love for granted.  I realize that there is so much in front of me but I am doing the best I can with the resources that I have.  I may not be able to save a thousand but I am working for the Kingdom in my little corner and I love it.

Keep working.  Keep loving.  Keep shining your light into those dark places.  Make a difference.  Live.

“If grace is an ocean, we are all sinking.”
John Mark McMillan

current itunes track: God of this City, Chris Tomlin

currently reading: different church blogs

currently: cleaning my office after hitting post on this blog!

This last couple of weeks I have gotten the pleasure of meeting a new friend who is from all different parts of the country.  This person has traveled and lived in northern california, southern california (which she assures is nothing like northern), the pacific northwest, and the really chilly northeast, but this is her first time in the mid-west (south-esqu area…).  She has started coming to bible study with us and just sharing her thoughts on life from different perspectives and I must say that it is refreshing to get a new perspective on how people act.

We laughed last night as we discussed the overwhelming majority of people (in this region) who feel that if you are not republican then you aren’t really a Christian (a person from an un-named BIG church told a member of the church I go to that she would be praying for her children because she had an Obama bumper sticker on her car, this was after telling her she would be praying for her soul as well!  haha…).  What was funny was how our new friend looked puzzled and then that moment of lightbulb above head struck as she realized where she was living and how far from “kansas” she actually was (or really how close she was ha!).

Then as we were wrapping up small groups a large thunderstorm began to approach.  We could hear the rumble of the thunder and one of our student’s dads called to warn him about it.  This is when our new friend began to get REALLY uncomfortable.  Now i would love to say that I was really compassionate and trying to help with her tornado phobia…but I wasn’t (at first!) I teased a little but then realized that when you aren’t from this area how terrifying the thought of some spectral cloud of debris sucking you into the sky and throwing you for miles might actually seem.  I realized maybe i don’t need to run out into the weather to watch the “finger of God” reach down and scratch the surface of the earth.

Overall it has been an enlightening experience meeting this new friend and realizing just how unique we can all be (while still falling into meta-groups that think in somewhat congruent ways).  O well.  enjoy your afternoon.  peace to you.

current itunes track: 10 Million Slave, Otis Taylor, The Return of the Banjo

currently watching: nothing.  i am still behind on tv, though i did watch the new family guy on sunday night.  I WAS VERY disappointed, just not a good episode.  they tried to push the envelope and all they did was push a boring plot into my living room..suck

currently reading: House of Leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski

*Today’s blog is in response to meagansmith.wordpress.com’s definition of my mind as a Wiki-Trail seeker (i sure love her a lot!)

I love information.  Useless trivia (I tend to bug meagan with my pop up trivia version of movies, music, books, and other things.  I know she loves me though cause she puts up with it..  Riddles.  Jokes.  Books.  News.  Stories.  Anything that I can hold on to and recount.  I collect information the way others might collect keepsakes, souvenirs, or ticket stubs.  Information that I recall can take me back to where I read that or heard that.  Like a keepsake I am reminded of my feelings at the time, or as a souvenir of another time.  The thought itself is a ticket stub of where I have been, what I have “witnessed,” and what I lay claim to as a piece of information.

I acquire information, stories, and data and then store them away. Why are they worth storing? At the time of storing (or filing it in my brain boxes…with my mind grapes!) it is often hard to say exactly when or why I might need them, but I also realize that I never know when it might become useful? With a beautiful collection of possibility engendering “facts” in mind, I  don’t feel comfortable throwing anything away (I see this connection in life to, I am a bit of a pack rat and I am trying to fight this!). But I will continue to acquire and compile and file stuff away. It’s interesting. It keeps my mind fresh. And perhaps, hopefully, and most likely (I have discovered), some of it will prove valuable one day.

I like to take that information and then converse with others who have so many diverse and enlightening opinions.  I love to sit with an individual (especially my Dove…she is so smart!) or group and talk about life, love, philosophy, and even (with humbled reverence for the mysteries I will never know) God.  Even if the conversation never goes anywhere, it is the exchange of ideas and information that makes me light up like a New Orleans evening during Mardi Gras.

I am fascinated and deeply intrigued by ideas. What is an idea? An idea is, to put it simply, a concept, the best explanation of the most events. I get so excited when I can discern beneath the complex surface of an issue and find a beautifully simple concept (or pattern) to explain why things are the way they are. An idea then forms a connection for me. My mind  is always looking for connections and I am greatly enamored when seemingly disparate occurrences can be linked by some seemingly irrelevant connection. The ideas can even become a fresh perspective on familiar challenges for me – whether professionally or personally. I want to take the world we all know and turn it this way and that so we as a community can view it from a strange but enlightening angle. Simply put, ideas are thrilling, and for me that is enough sometimes!

I don’t know what kind of intellectual pursuits you find intriguing but I hope you find ways to challenge yourself personally.  Whether I am just sitting vegging out on video games or I am in deep study for a bible lesson, I know that I will always continue to think and examine things from different angles.  Maybe that is why I feel a close connection with post-modernity because I want to find all the angles people look at the world from and then discern connections between them so we can live in harmony and understanding.

*I would like to add one disclaimer.  I do love wikipedia.org, but YES I am aware of the evils of open source information sharing and so it is usually a springboard for me to go different places and look to real sources for info!

*If you are a news junkie I recommend www.drudgreport.com for intense, diverse, constantly updated news stories.

Hope you are having a great day.  peace to you

current itunes track: Pardon Me, Incubus, Make Yourself

currently watching: not much. I am behind on tv stuff, been pretty busy!

currently gaming: new tunes on rock band 2.  i am disappointed in the content put out by GH: world tour, rock band 2 is light years ahead!

currently reading: Living Your Strengths, Winseman, Clifton, and Liesveld, Gallup Press 2003

I often try to give up creative things for Lent.  In school one year i gave up walking on grass (kind of like giving up shortcuts) so that when I had to walk along way along a walkway I would be mindful of the season I was in.  One year I gave up television (pretty obvious).  Still one year I gave up the internet.  But even though I was participating in Lent I never let it fully consume me to focus on my relationship (the sidewalk was the best one I ever had) there was still other stuff to do, other things to take up my time.

This year I decided instead of giving up “one” thing I would start with a goal of doing something for my spiritual life and whatever happened to be given up would be a side bet.  I am going to read at least 10 books over the next forty days and journal about them (take notes, write summaries).  These 10 books will be about my spiritual life or have to do with ministry in some capacity or other.

If you know me you know I can’t read just one book at a time so as I finished two books in the last two days I started three new ones to day!  I hope that you have some sort of Lenten focus and that as we mourn the death and darkness that Christ had to take on, that you can also look forward to the joy of salvation (psalm 51:10-12) that comes with a pure heart and renewed spirit through Easter!  Enjoy your day.

peace to you

current itunes track: The Maker, DMB, Live Trax Vol. 9

currently reading:  The Challenge of Jesus, N.T. Wright – Captivating, John and Stasi Eldredge – Messy Spirituality – Mike Yaconelli

currently watching: the clock tick towards the time I get to be with meagan!

current addiction i need to tone down on: twitter.com

Alright well today’s post is not to insightful but it does require your help!  I don’t know what to CALL this blog.  I like song lyrics, movie quotes, and book references, but I need it to be short to the point and concise.  I have tried about 20 different ones over the last few days, but I can’t find one that sticks.  I need your help otherwise this blog will be named something like

deep thoughts
daily musings
why the crap hasn’t anyone commented?
i’m conceited, read MY blog
“random dave matthews lyric”
Look i am deep and brooding
“video game related joke”
some book you’ve never heard of quote
some bible verse taken out of context
some philosophical pondering
something not original at all…

so you can see I am at a cross roads…I need your help!  COMMENT on this one and let me know what you think.  all of you my fellow friends have great titles for your blogs and i feel my creativity has hit the edge of its abyss.  please help me.  please keep me sane and help me from changing the title of this blog every few hours.  winner may received a prize!*

*this claim could/probably be false.  but you never know…

current itunes track: The Dreaming Tree (Live at Saratoga Performing Arts Center; Saratoga Springs, NY), Live Trax 2008, DMB

currently reading: facebook

currently wondering: why i even play drums, wow carter beauford is amazing.

If you have kids, ever want kids, or just happen to have kids in your house sometimes and you love video games then this is a game you need to check out.  Available on the XBOX Live Marketplace (you need to have a silver or gold membership to download!) for 800 points, A Kingdom for Keflings is one of the most interesting, addicting, non-stressful, colorful video games I have ever played.  The first xbox live arcade game to offer in game  use of your NXE Avatar, you play a giant that helps the Keflings (they are pretty tiny) gather resources and build their kingdom.  There are no winners or losers and the pace of the game is as fast as you want it to be.  Filled with department store muzak (not too annoying but after hour 9 of playing i was jamming to my ipod and had the music turned off!) colorful imaginitave buildings and a customizable world where you can spread your kingdom out as you wish, Kelfings delivers a great fun gameplay.  The most eye brow raising this game will cause is your giant’s ability to kick the little keflings if they aren’t working, but no one gets hurt (if you are having a particularly bad day this is quite fun) and you get a good laugh from those watching as your giant becomes the work enforcer!  Other great aspects involve up to four player multiplayer so that you are your friends can build kingdoms together and have fun helping the keflings live and be happy.

This is definitely a great game if you have young ones or are looking for a safe game to play with youth students at church!

Check it out at http://www.xbox.com/en-US/games/a/akfkxboxlivearcade/

Though the gameplay can get a little repetitive when gathering resources it does help expand the mind in designing efficient worlds and in remembering how blue prints go together to form buildings.  This is a great game, completely worth the 800 Microsoft points!

current itunes track:  #41, Live Trax Vol 10, DMB

currently reading: Pink Floyd and Philosophy, Edited by George A. Reisch

currently watching: Lie to Me <–Great new tv show!

current bible study: Genesis

currently craving: green tea or a blue powerade